Separation checklist

A separation checklist is an ordered list of the practical and legal steps a couple in England and Wales need to take when they stop living together. The list on this page has 17 steps, each with its source, beginning with safety and ending with the decision about longer-term legal status. A separation checklist is written for married couples, civil partners and cohabiting couples alike; where a step applies only to some of them, the entry says so.[2][19]

The order reflects priority rather than a fixed sequence. Safety, the children and the immediate questions of where each person lives and how the bills are paid come first; documents, benefits and the home follow; wills, advice and the choice between a separation agreement, judicial separation and divorce come later.[8][10] Each step is a summary and links to the page of this wiki that covers the subject in full.

Written by Jess Knauf, Director of Client Strategy at Mediate UK and Associate Member of Resolution. Reviewed by Belinda Atkins, Managing Director of Mediate UK. Last reviewed 6 September 2026; last updated 6 September 2026; next scheduled review March 2027.

Purpose and how to use this list

There is no legal process for separating in England and Wales, so there is no official form or sequence to follow. The steps below are drawn from the guidance published by GOV.UK, Citizens Advice and MoneyHelper and from the statutes that attach consequences to separation.[19][2][10] Most of the steps can be taken by the couple themselves; a few, such as transferring a tenancy by court order or obtaining a judicial separation order, need a court.

The list stops at the point where a divorce or dissolution application, or an application to the Family Court about children or money, is made. What happens after that is covered on Divorce Law Wiki and Family Court Wiki. Not every step applies to every couple: a couple without children can skip the two steps about children, and a couple who rent and have no joint accounts will find several steps short.

The checklist

In order: (1) safety; (2) deciding whether the separation is permanent; (3) recording the date; (4) arrangements for the children; (5) who lives where; (6) joint accounts; (7) debts; (8) a budget for two households; (9) benefits, HMRC and council tax; (10) the mortgage or tenancy; (11) documents; (12) child maintenance; (13) wills and nominations; (14) the route for resolving disagreements, normally mediation; (15) legal advice; (16) a written separation agreement; (17) the longer-term legal status.[2][10][8]

Step 1: Safety first

If anyone in the household is at risk, safety comes before every other step. GOV.UK lists the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247, free and open at all hours), the Men’s Advice Line (0808 801 0327), Live Fear Free in Wales (0808 80 10 100) and the Respect Phoneline for people worried about their own behaviour (0808 802 4040); in an emergency the number is 999, and a caller who cannot speak can press 55 on a mobile to be put through to the police.[1] Citizens Advice makes the same point at the top of its guidance on separating.[2] A non-molestation or occupation order can be applied for without a court fee.[3] See separation and domestic abuse.

Step 2: Decide whether the separation is permanent, and say so

Many of the legal consequences of separation, from tax to benefits, depend on whether the couple have stopped living together as a couple. A couple who are not yet sure can treat the period as a trial separation; relationship counselling is available from Relate, now part of Family Action, among others.[4] Where the decision is final, telling the other person clearly, and in writing where possible, avoids later argument about when the separation began.[5]

Step 3: Record the date of separation

The date on which the couple ceased to live together is not registered anywhere, yet it fixes the capital gains tax window for spouses and civil partners, the point from which benefit changes run, and the starting date in any later agreement. HMRC treats spouses as living together unless separated by court order, deed or “in circumstances where separation is likely permanent”.[5][6] A dated note, email or letter is sufficient. See separation.

Step 4: Agree where the children will live and when they see each parent

Both parents keep parental responsibility, and GOV.UK’s guidance starts with agreement between the parents on where the children live, how their time is divided and how they are supported, ideally written down in a parenting plan.[7][8] Interim arrangements can be changed later; what matters at the outset is that the children know what is happening and that both parents remain involved. See children after separation and telling children about separation.

Step 5: Decide who lives where, at least for now

Citizens Advice sets out the usual options: one person stays and the other moves out, both move, one buys the other out, or the couple live separately under the same roof.[2] Moving out does not give up ownership or, for a spouse or civil partner who does not own the home, the statutory home rights under section 30 of the Family Law Act 1996, which continue while the marriage or civil partnership lasts.[9] See the family home on separation.

Step 6: Deal with joint accounts and cards

MoneyHelper advises contacting the bank about any joint account and asking it either to require both signatures for withdrawals or to freeze the account, redirecting salary to a sole account if there is any doubt about the other person’s conduct, and removing a former partner as an additional cardholder.[10] Citizens Advice adds that an overdrawn joint account can be frozen by either person and that until it is closed the other “could access the funds or run up debts which will be your responsibility”.[11] See joint accounts and debts.

Step 7: List the debts and agree who pays what

Joint debts remain the responsibility of both people for the whole amount, “not just your half”, and a lender can pursue either.[11] A written list of every mortgage, loan, card, overdraft, hire purchase and utility account, with who is named on each, is the starting point for any agreement, and MoneyHelper recommends telling the mortgage lender early where payments may be affected.[10] See joint accounts and debts.

Step 8: Work out a budget for two households

Running two homes costs more than one; MoneyHelper notes that it is “often much more expensive for each of you to live on your own than to live together”.[12] A budget showing each person’s income, including benefits and any maintenance, against housing and living costs shows whether the arrangement is sustainable and informs any later settlement. The separation budget planner published by Divorce Magpie, an information site operated by Family Legal Ltd, the publisher of this wiki, sets out both households side by side and runs in the browser without storing data.[13] See money after separation.

Step 9: Tell the benefits office, HMRC and the council

Means-tested benefits are assessed on the household. Universal Credit claimants must report a partner leaving through their online account, and can be made to repay an overpayment or face a penalty if they do not.[14] Citizens Advice advises checking entitlement afresh as a single person or lone parent, and a person who becomes the only adult in the home can claim a 25 per cent council tax discount.[15][16] See money after separation.

Step 10: Sort out the mortgage or tenancy

A joint mortgage is a joint liability for the whole loan whoever lives in the property, and joint tenants “will be responsible for the rent” together.[10][17] Options include one person taking over the mortgage or tenancy with the lender’s or landlord’s consent, a court order transferring a tenancy under Schedule 7 to the Family Law Act 1996, which is available to spouses, civil partners and cohabitants, or sale.[18] See mortgage and tenancy on separation.

Step 11: Gather the documents

Any agreement, mediation or court process will need the same paperwork: payslips, bank and credit card statements, mortgage statements, property valuations, pension statements including a cash equivalent value, benefit letters, and the marriage or civil partnership certificate if there is one. GOV.UK’s guidance on money and property assumes a full picture of “pensions, property, savings, investments” before any agreement is made.[19] Collecting these early shortens everything that follows.

Step 12: Arrange child maintenance

Child maintenance is payable for a child under 16, or under 20 in approved education or training, and can be agreed privately as a family-based arrangement or calculated and collected by the Child Maintenance Service.[20] A written private arrangement can begin immediately and be reviewed as circumstances change. See child maintenance after separation.

Step 13: Review wills, nominations and joint ownership

Separation has no effect on a will, and a separated spouse or civil partner remains the main beneficiary on intestacy; only a final divorce, dissolution or annulment order causes a will to be read as if the former spouse had died.[21][22] MoneyHelper lists updating wills and pension death benefit nominations, and considering whether to sever a joint tenancy of the home so that each share passes under a will, among the steps to take.[10] See separation.

Step 14: Choose the route for resolving disagreements

Where the couple cannot agree on children or money, family mediation is the route the system expects them to try first: an applicant to the Family Court will “usually need to show you’ve attended a MIAM” unless there has been domestic abuse or another exemption applies.[23] The Family Mediation Council register lists accredited mediators by postcode; typical fees are £130 to £170 per person per hour, legal aid is available on means alone, and the voucher scheme contributes up to £500 in cases about children.[24][25][26] The process is described on Family Mediation Wiki and, in practical terms, by Mediation Guide, a site operated by Family Legal Ltd, the publisher of this wiki.[27]

Step 15: Get advice on the legal position

Citizens Advice and Advicenow publish free guidance, Law Centres offer free or low-cost advice, and many solicitors offer a free or fixed-fee first meeting.[28] Legal aid for a solicitor in a separation case is available where there is evidence of domestic abuse or a child at risk and the means test is met; legal aid for mediation depends on means only.[29] The routes, costs and questions to ask are on getting advice on separation.

Step 16: Decide whether to record the arrangements in writing

Once arrangements are settled, a separation agreement records them as a contract. It is not a court order and can be revisited on divorce, but Citizens Advice notes that a fair, properly drawn agreement can later be turned into a binding consent order.[2] Cohabiting couples, who have no divorce process, may find a written agreement the only formal record they will ever have.[11]

Step 17: Consider the longer-term legal status

Married couples and civil partners can remain separated indefinitely, apply for a judicial separation order (fee £426), or, after the first anniversary of the marriage, apply for divorce or dissolution without any period of separation.[30][31] The choice affects pensions, inheritance and tax. See divorce after separation.

Timing and priorities

Suggested timing of the checklist steps
WhenStepsWhy
Immediately1 to 5Safety, the children and where each person sleeps tonight cannot wait; the date of separation is easiest to record at the time[1][2]
Within the first weeks6 to 10Joint accounts and debts are the main source of avoidable loss; benefit changes must be reported promptly and council tax discounts run from application[10][14][15]
Within the first months11 to 15Documents, maintenance, wills and advice shape any agreement; mediation is the expected first route where the couple disagree[23][21]
When the couple are ready16 and 17A separation agreement or a court order records the outcome; for spouses and civil partners, the capital gains tax window runs to the end of the third tax year after separation, which sets an outer limit for transfers[6][5]

The capital gains tax point deserves emphasis for married couples and civil partners with a home or investments in one name: transfers between them are free of capital gains tax only until the end of the third tax year after the tax year of separation or, without time limit, where made under a formal agreement or court order, so a couple who drift for years without a written agreement can lose the relief.[6][5]

See also

References

  1. Domestic abuse: how to get help. GOV.UK. updated 29 April 2025. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  2. Deciding what to do when you separate. Citizens Advice. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  3. Family court fees (EX50). HM Courts and Tribunals Service. updated 13 July 2026. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  4. Relate: relationship counselling. Relate, part of Family Action. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  5. HS281 Capital Gains Tax civil partners and spouses (2025). HM Revenue and Customs. 6 April 2026. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  6. Taxation of Chargeable Gains Act 1992, section 58: Spouses and civil partners. legislation.gov.uk. As substituted for disposals on or after 6 April 2023. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  7. Children Act 1989, section 2: Parental responsibility for children. legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  8. Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate. GOV.UK. updated 26 November 2024. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  9. Family Law Act 1996, section 30: Rights concerning home where one spouse or civil partner has no estate, etc.. legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  10. How to protect your finances during divorce or dissolution. MoneyHelper. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  11. Dividing up money and belongings when you separate. Citizens Advice. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  12. Managing your household budget after you’ve separated. MoneyHelper. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  13. Separation budget planner. Divorce Magpie (Family Legal Ltd). Accessed 5 September 2026.
  14. Universal Credit: report a change of circumstances. GOV.UK. updated 17 October 2024. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  15. Benefits and help with council tax when you separate. Citizens Advice. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  16. Council Tax: who has to pay. GOV.UK. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  17. Private renting: tenancy agreements (joint tenancies). GOV.UK. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  18. Family Law Act 1996, Schedule 7: Transfer of certain tenancies on divorce etc. or on separation of cohabitants. legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  19. Money and property when you divorce or separate. GOV.UK. updated 11 February 2025. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  20. Child Maintenance Service. GOV.UK. updated 5 November 2024. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  21. Wills Act 1837, section 18A: Effect of dissolution or annulment of marriage on wills. legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  22. Administration of Estates Act 1925, section 46: Succession to real and personal estate on intestacy. legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  23. Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate: make an agreement through mediation. GOV.UK. updated 26 November 2024. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  24. Find your local mediator. Family Mediation Council. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  25. What does mediation cost?. Family Mediation Council. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  26. Family Mediation Voucher Scheme. GOV.UK. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  27. Family mediation: how it works. Mediation Guide (Family Legal Ltd). Accessed 5 September 2026.
  28. Help with legal fees when you separate. Citizens Advice. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  29. Legal aid: what you can get legal aid for. GOV.UK. updated 2 September 2026. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  30. Get a legal separation. GOV.UK. updated 27 November 2024. Accessed 5 September 2026.
  31. Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, section 3: Bar on applying for a divorce order within one year of marriage. legislation.gov.uk. Accessed 5 September 2026.

This article is part of Separation Wiki, published by Family Legal Ltd. It is general information about the law of England and Wales, not legal advice. Last reviewed 6 September 2026. About this site and editorial policy · Report an error.